Everything We Need (Finding Forever Book 4) Read online

  Jeremy lowered his head, touched his lips to hers. She was so soft, hesitant in her response. Yet, the sound she made in the back of her throat was so fucking sweet he came undone. Unleashing the need that had been growing from the moment they met, he delved deeper into her mouth. One hand traced a line down the outside of her thigh to draw her leg around his waist before sliding back up beneath her shirt. He spread his fingers around her ribcage, his thumb brushing against the underside of her bare breast and she arched her back.

  Her mouth tore free from his, a cry of desire on her lips. “Jeremy,” she gasped, her voice thready. “What are you doing?”

  “Giving in.” This time, when he kissed her, she showed no hesitation. Sharp fingernails dug into his waist as she clutched him tight. He began to move his hips against her in a slow, rocking motion and she fell into his rhythm with a muffled groan. He was exciting her, driving her higher, and the knowledge roared through him. He wanted to make her come.

  Lifting his weight, he trailed one hand down her body. Between her breasts, over her stomach. His fingertips traced the waistband of her cotton pyjama pants, teasing the sensitive skin. Her body bowed toward him and her head tipped back, breaking their kiss.

  He pressed his lips against her exposed throat, tasting the faint saltiness of her skin with his tongue. His hand slid beneath the elastic of her waistband, eager to touch, to explore. He wanted to know the feel of her pulsing around his fingers, and then around his cock. He groaned and the sound reverberated against her throat.

  She clutched at his wrist, halting his progress. “Wait.” The word cut through the fog of lust clouding his brain and he went still. The knowledge of what he’d done crashed down and he lifted his head so he could see her face. His rash actions were about to bring about his downfall. He’d deceived her, and now she knew it.

  Her eyes were glazed with desire, her face flushed, but she frowned at him as she took deep, steadying breaths. She licked her lips again and he clenched his jaw in an attempt to keep control of his raging lust.

  “You’re gay.” She poked a finger at his chest when she made the announcement, as if he’d forgotten and it was her job to remind him. He could hardly blame her for coming to that conclusion.

  He looked away, not wanting to see the accusation in her eyes. A pulse point in the side of her throat fluttered like a trapped bird and he stared at it as the silence stretched out.

  “You are gay, aren’t you?” Her voice was louder this time and her body stiffened beneath him.

  “Yeah,” he said with a nod, finally raising his gaze to meet hers. “Mostly.”

  Chapter 4

  “Mostly!” She shoved against his chest and he moved away so she could scramble out from under him. “What do you mean mostly?”

  Standing in front of him like that, with her hands fisted on her hips and her eyes blazing, she looked almost fierce. The snoopy pyjamas kind of ruined the effect. That and the fact he could see the hardness of her nipples beneath her cotton t-shirt. His mouth watered at the sight and he dragged his gaze back up to her face. She glared daggers at him, expecting a response to her reasonable question.

  He sighed. It was time to come clean. He couldn’t deny his reaction to her and, honestly, he’d hated keeping his feelings a secret anyway. At least this way the truth would be out in the open. He could only hope their friendship survived. “I mean, while my relationships have always been with men, I am also attracted to women in general,” he locked eyes with her before adding, “and you in particular.”

  She gasped, her eyes widening. Her body shook with anger. Or maybe it was more a combination of anger and lust. His still erect dick was rooting for the combo, which wasn’t doing much for his concentration.

  “You’re attracted to me?” She turned her body away as she crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Yes,” he confirmed with a short nod.

  “And did you already know this when you moved in? Or has it come over you suddenly, like a common cold?”

  He swallowed. This was the part where she’d get really pissed. “I knew the moment I laid eyes on you.”

  She gave an indignant cry, stabbing a finger in his general direction. “So, you lied to me.”

  “Not technically.” He rose from the couch, lifting his arms out before him. “I just didn’t give you all the facts.”

  She made a scornful sound. “That’s the same as lying.”

  He gave a heavy sigh as he pushed his hair back out of his eyes. “Yeah, you’re right. And I’m sorry I kept this from you. To be honest, I didn’t think being attracted to you would be a problem. I find a lot of people attractive.” Her mouth dropped open at that one and he hurried to explain. “What I mean is, you’re beautiful so being attracted to you was kind of a given. But I wasn’t expecting us to get along as well as we have. The more I got to know you the more I liked you and, as a whole package I have to say, you’re sexy as hell.”

  She made a miffed sort of noise. “You’re not so bad yourself.” A heavy dose of reluctance permeated the words, but her lips twitched at the corners as she said them.

  Jeremy smiled, wondering if maybe he could avoid being evicted after all. “I can’t say I’m sorry I kissed you, because I’m not and I probably shouldn’t add to the lies at this stage. But I can promise not to do it again, if that’s what you want.” He risked taking a step toward her. She eyed him warily and her weight shifted back and forth from one foot to the other, but she didn’t move away. “We’re friends and I don’t want to lose that. I only just found you.”

  He’d lost touch with his friends in the six years he’d been with Aaron. His boyfriend had been on the possessive side and hadn’t liked the idea of sharing Jeremy’s attention. At first, Jeremy had enjoyed the feeling of being wanted so intensely—until he’d realised how isolated he’d become. Things had started to go downhill from there. He and Aaron had already broken up and gotten back together way too many times before Jeremy had finally resolved to make the break permanent. By then, he’d had no one except his sister to fall back on, until the day he met a quirky woman in a coffee shop. “Nothing has to change between us, Trina.”

  “But everything has changed,” she cried, throwing her arms wide. “You’re hot and single and wonderful and none of that mattered when you were gay but now you’re only mostly gay and you’re attracted to me and I’m attracted to you and this has all turned to shit exactly like I said it would the day we met.” She wasn’t looking at him anymore, preferring to storm around the room as she ranted. Jeremy sank back down onto the couch, figuring it was probably best to let her anger run its course without interruption.

  “I knew having a man move in would be a bad idea,” she continued after a single gulp of air. “But you sweet talked me with your charm and your stupid mini-golf. How could I have been so gullible?”

  “Gullible? You’re being a bit harsh, don’t you think?” She whirled around to glare at him some more. “I mean, it’s not like you mistook a straight man for a gay man. I’m still mostly gay, remember?”

  “Semantics,” she snapped. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth in the first place?”

  “Because I needed a place to live. I’d been sleeping on my sister’s couch for weeks. If I didn’t find a place of my own I might have done something stupid.”

  “Something stupid?” She had one hand on her hip as she frowned at him. A frown was better than a glare, things were improving. “Like what?”

  Jeremy took a deep breath. “Like go back to an abusive arsehole who treated me like shit.” He really didn’t want to get into his fucked-up relationship with Aaron, but he also didn’t want Trina to kick him out on the street, which he figured was still a real possibility. “He was calling me and showing up at my sister’s door. He kept telling me he loved me and he’d changed and this time would be different. Shit he’s said a hundred times before and it’s never true, but I always go back because…” He gulped in a breath, pain a vice around his chest. �
�Because I don’t have anybody else.”

  The look on Aaron’s face the last time Jeremy had seen him—all beautiful and tortured—was burned into his memory. It hurt to see the man he’d loved for so long suffer. A part of him had wanted to believe everything Aaron said was true, and this time would be different.

  If he hadn’t met Trina a few days later… He didn’t want to think about what might have happened the next time Aaron showed up at his door. “I need to be living somewhere he can’t find me,” he told Trina in a hoarse voice, “so I can get free of him. So I can build a life that doesn’t have Aaron at the centre of it.”

  Trina seemed to deflate in front of him, her anger morphing into something else. He looked away, not wanting to see whatever emotion she would settle on. Pity perhaps, or disgust. He had enough of that to deal with in his own head. What sort of man allowed himself to be treated like property instead of a person? There were so many times he should have stood up for himself, done things differently. He never would have let his relationship with Aaron get so bad, if he’d been a stronger man.

  “I didn’t know you were going through any of that.” Trina’s hand on his shoulder brought him back to the present. She sat beside him now, her body angled toward his. “You seem so upbeat, like all the time.”

  “Yeah, well, I tend to overcompensate.” He plucked at a loose thread in the knee of his jeans. “No one wants to live with a sad sack.”

  Her hand covered his and their fingers twined together. “I wish I’d known,” she said. “I could have done something to support you.”

  His lips lifted at the corners as he finally raised his eyes to look at her. Damn, she was gorgeous. It had been a long time since he’d had a friend around who cared about him. It felt good. “You did support me,” he told her, the vice around his chest easing a fraction. “You just didn’t know it at the time.”

  She gave him a small grin of her own, right before she rolled her eyes and collapsed back into the cushions. “I don’t know whether to hug you or throw everything you own out the window.”

  He wanted to insist they could go back to the way things were. Then, he met her gaze and knew there was no point. There was an awareness between them now. A sensual undercurrent that wasn’t about to up and disappear because they weren’t destined to be together forever. And truth be told, he didn’t want to go back.

  “Okay, here’s the deal.” He turned on the couch, crossing his legs in front of him so he could face her. “We’re all hot for each other, it’s a thing, but we’re friends first, right?”

  “That depends.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Are there any other life-altering secrets you’ve been keeping to yourself? Are you actually a serial killer? Do you try on my underwear when I’m not home? Anything like that?”

  He chuckled at her new, and rather inventive, line of questioning. “No, I promise. I’ve been totally honest, except for that one thing where I’ve been desperate to bone you every time you ogle me over your morning coffee.”

  “I do not ogle you,” she said in a piqued tone.

  He gave her a sceptical look.

  “Much.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Don’t worry, I’ve been ogling you too,” he added, hoping to ease her embarrassment. “I’m just a damn sight more discreet about it than you.” He gestured to the laptop, now sitting forgotten on the coffee table. “Right then, you continue your search for Mr Right. Someone who’s one hundred percent straight and can make you deliriously happy forever and ever. I promise to support you in your cause.” Now he’d gotten up a head of steam, he laid out his offer as if it was no big deal. “And if you need someone to take the edge off while you wait, I promise to be a generous lover.”

  “Excuse me?” Trina launched herself off the couch, cackling with nervous laughter. “You are not going to take the edge off anything.”

  “Why not? Between you and me, I’ve heard the buzzing coming from your room every other night and I can say with confidence, I’m a much better option than a vibrator.”

  “Jeremy!”

  “What?” He laughed as he gestured toward her room. “The walls here are thin and I swear you have the loudest vibrator I’ve ever heard in my freaking life.”

  Her entire face had flushed a bright red, but those nipples of hers were once again begging for the kind of attention he ached to provide. Rising from the couch, he took slow, measured steps toward her, giving her plenty of time to tell him to back off—only she didn’t.

  He kept his arms by his sides as he leaned down to nuzzle her neck. “Trina.” Pressing a light kiss to her cheek, he pulled back to look into her eyes. “I need this too.” He waited, unmoving, while she made her decision.

  She released a slow breath when she gave in, letting go of whatever had held her back. Her body softened and she swayed toward him until he could feel the puffs of air against his lips as she panted in need. Then, she kissed him. Fuck yeah, this was gonna be good.

  Chapter 5

  Brady Shaw had never been a fan of meeting new people. If he had his way, the whole world would leave him the hell alone and he would be only too happy to return the favour. That way he could never disappoint anyone and he wouldn’t have anyone to lose. Loneliness was a small price to pay for peace of mind.

  Unfortunately, by taking on the job of manager for the apartment building he now called home, he was forced to introduce himself to all the tenants. There were only five other apartments and he’d already visited four of them. That left the couple in the apartment next to his. Their front door was at a right angle to his, and so close he could probably prop both doors open at the same time if he got both hands and a foot involved.

  Katrina Carrigan was the name on the lease, but there were definitely two people living there. He had yet to see them, but he’d heard them talking and laughing as they stomped up and down the external stairs.

  They hadn’t been home the last time he knocked on their door. Now though, as he mounted the stairs leading to both sets of front doors, Brady could see light filtering through their kitchen window. Someone was home and it was time he got the introductions over with. After a quick stop at his own apartment to pick up a printout of his details, he crossed to his neighbours’ door. All he had to do was give them the sheet of paper and let them know they should come to him if anything in the apartment needed fixing. Then he could go back to his own apartment and commence ignoring them whenever possible.

  He gave a firm knock on the door. A male voice swore a blue streak in the apartment beyond and Brady was impressed by the man’s creativity. Apparently, he had bad timing. A quick glance at his watch showed it was a few minutes after nine. Damn. He should have waited till morning to do this, but it was too late to back out now. Two minutes and he’d be gone, anyway.

  The door flung open to reveal a woman. Her porcelain skin was flushed, her lips wet and swollen from thorough kissing. “Can I help you?” she asked in a breathy voice. One hand raked through her shoulder-length hair, though the dark strands had already been mussed by someone else’s fingers. “Hello?” A faint crease appeared on her forehead as she watched him stand there gaping like a freaking idiot.

  “Hi.” Brady tried desperately to remember what he was supposed to say at this point, but his brain was distracted by the sight of the woman’s hard nipples straining against pale pink cotton as she took deep, calming breaths.

  “Hey, buddy.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “My eyes are up here?”

  Brady shook his head in an effort to regain some modicum of composure. Katrina was obviously not pleased about being drooled over by a total stranger on her own doorstep. He couldn’t blame her. It wasn’t her fault he had lousy timing. “Right, sorry. You… ah… you took me by surprise.”

  She snorted. “Surprises seem to be the theme of the night so…” She fell silent, waiting for him to explain himself.

  Clearing his throat, he launched into his prepared introduction. “The name’s Brady. I’ve inheri
ted this building from my uncle and I’m going to be managing the place from now on.” He held out the slip of paper he still had clutched in one hand. “Here are my details. If you ever need anything, if something in the apartment breaks, let me know and I’ll take care of it.” Until now, the thought of any of his tenants actually needing anything from him was enough to make him shudder. Maybe he wouldn’t mind so much if Katrina did the asking.

  “Huh,” she said as she took the paper and glanced over it before returning her attention to him. “I’m sorry about your uncle. Were you close?”

  “More so recently,” Brady said with a nod. Uncle Ben had been around his whole life, but it was only in the past year he’d gotten to know the older man better. When the shit hit the fan and everyone else in the family started looking at him like a stranger, Uncle Ben had been the one to reach out, inviting him over for a beer, offering an ear if he needed one. Brady would always be grateful for his uncle’s willingness to accept him no matter what. Then, the older man had died unexpectedly of a heart attack. When Brady was told he’d inherited this building, a building no one else in the family seemed to know anything about, it was like the old bugger had been telling him there was a way to escape if he needed one. As soon as the paperwork had been finalised, he took it. He quit his job and disappeared from what little was left of his old life. He didn’t expect to be heading back that way any time soon.

  “I usually have to go to the real estate agent if I need anything,” Katrina said now.

  Brady had decided to leave the agent in charge of collecting rent and dealing with leases, but take over the maintenance work himself. It would be cheaper, and without the steady income of a regular job, he needed every cent he could get from this place. Starting over wasn’t cheap. To Katrina, he said, “I’ve decided to take a more hands-on approach. From now on, you’ll have to come for me.” It wasn’t until she gave him an amused smirk he realised what he’d said. “To me,” he corrected, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “Come to me.”